


In Which Higuma Doesn't Get To Get Drunk, Even Though He Really, Really Wants To

by grainjew



Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen, Oneshot, POV Outsider, Romance Dawn (One Piece), Time Travel, Translation Available, and of course on that day in windmill village for the rest of them, do I still have to tag for 903 spoilers, i suppose it would be courteous, makino is there btw but incidentally enough that i didnt want to tag her, rated t because of swears, set at some dubious and ill-defined point in wano arc for luffy, using experienced protagonists to bully incidental early-story villains is my favorite hobby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23255719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grainjew/pseuds/grainjew
Summary: In the original timeline, Shanks took Higuma's mistreatment calmly and with dignity, shaping Luffy's essential character for the rest of his life. Inthistimeline..."Huh!" said the kid. He tugged at his cheeks. "Guess I'm in the past, then!" His expression cleared, because apparently that made sense to him, and he grinned. "Shanks! Hey, Shanks, you never told me how cool you are!"
Comments: 108
Kudos: 1101
Collections: Outstanding Outsider POVs





	In Which Higuma Doesn't Get To Get Drunk, Even Though He Really, Really Wants To

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fallingwish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingwish/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [Хигума не напивается, хотя ему очень, очень хочется](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25734130) by [EvilCatW](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilCatW/pseuds/EvilCatW)



> this fic’s working title was “let’s dunk on higuma” which basically tells you everything you need to know about it
> 
> EDIT: russian translation available [here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/9725795)!

Higuma was not having a good evening. First, his hideout ran out of alcohol, so they went to the bar down in Windmill to buy more. And what did he find there but some shitty sea pirates drinking all of his booze! And that red-haired one had the _gall_ to offer him a single bottle, as though that was anywhere near enough the amount he would need to consume to get past all this bullshit. It was infuriating!

And to cap it all off, as he informed the redhead exactly _where_ he could shove his bottle, he was interrupted.

"Zoro?" shouted some kid drinking juice at the counter, eyes wide and panicked. Ugh, really, a kid? As though his evening could get worse, he had to deal with a _kid._ "Nami? Usopp? Sanji? Chopper? Robin? Franky? Brook? Jinbe? Everyone!" He skittered his gaze around the room, then brought a hand to his head. "Hat?" He pointed at the redhead’s head. "Hat!" The kid was halfway to standing when he froze. "Wait— _Shanks_?"

"...Luffy?" said the redhead, drawing out the name with confusion.

"Huh!" said the kid. He tugged at his cheeks. "Guess I'm in the past, then!" His expression cleared, because apparently that made sense to him, and he grinned. "Shanks! Hey, Shanks, you never told me how cool you are!"

"Huh?" said the redhead. "Wait, yeah, of course, I'm super cool! What do you mean I didn't tell you how cool I am!"

The kid crossed his arms and frowned. "Can't talk to you."

"Whaaat?" The look on the redhead's face took betrayed indignation to entirely new unheard-of heights. Considering he hadn’t even bothered looking annoyed while Higuma was threatening him, Higuma’s need to humiliate him rose like birds spooked by a tiger. A bar with no alcohol and a kid garnering more reaction than a bandit worth eight million! What was this village _coming_ to? His evening just kept getting worse! He’d really thought folks around here knew better than to piss off mountain bandits by now!

"Hey, Benn!" said the kid, spinning around on his stool to face a placid-looking ponytailed man. "I can't talk to Shanks cause of I haven't surpassed him yet, so I can't come back to return the hat, so I'm going to talk to you instead!"

The man blinked slowly, his reaction understated like he was used to this sort of thing. "Okay, Luffy."

Enough of being ignored. If that scrawny little kid interrupting got the redhead all excited, maybe Higuma should have been going after him this whole time. A kid carefree among pirates! The brat was just asking to die. 

But before Higuma could move, the redhead was on him, slapping a hand over his mouth.

"Shh! I want to hear this!"

Higuma struggled, but the redhead was surprisingly strong. He glanced out the side of his eye to see the other pirates restraining his henchmen too. What a shit evening. Shitty pirates had no right to be stronger than his men. Resorting to sneak attacks. Bastards.

Meanwhile, the kid was ranting, gaze fixed on that unmoving man with the ponytail: "Shanks NEVER told me how cool he was! Gramps and Rayleigh, they told me, ‘ventually. But not ever Shanks! How rude!” He grabbed a box on the counter to gesture with as he spoke. “I had to hear from _Gramps_ that Shanks's one of the Four Emperors! Gramps! Getting news from Gramps sucks, he always tries to kill me!”

"Well, I'm sure the captain had his reasons," said the ponytailed one, voice mild. But he glanced uncertainly towards the redhead.

"Emperor, huh?" said the redhead, his hand still over Higuma's mouth. What little Higuma could see of his grin was sharp and excited and entirely unlike the boorish idiot pirate he’d looked only minutes ago. "Ahhhh, haven't been to the New World in aaages, I'm excited!"

All these terms Higuma'd never heard of. Pirates, bah. All that time on ocean water must have messed with their brains, until they started making up words. A beating on dry land would do them some good. Now if that redhead would let him _go…_

"Luffy, you said you're in the past...?" asked the ponytailed man. Finally, a pertinent question. 

"Yep!" answered the kid. His face lit up in a smile somewhere between gleeful and alarming. "I'm from the future, where I'm super cool (although not as cool as Shanks yet) and have a super awesome crew and I'm gonna be Pirate King!"

" _Are_ you now…" said the redhead slowly. His hold on Higuma stayed tight, but he leaned forward a little, his interest palpable. "And what makes you say that, little Anchor?"

The kid frowned ferociously. "'Cause I'm gonna, duh!" He paused, and shoved his hand in the box he’d been gesturing with, and very deliberately turned his head away from the redhead. “But I can’t talk to you.”

“Rude…” whined the redhead.

The kid — rightfully — ignored him, biting into some fruit he’d pulled out of the box. Almost immediately, he made a disgusted _pah_ sound. “Ew, gross!”

"Aaaaaaa!” shouted the redhead, right in Higuma’s ear. “Luffy, spit that out right now!" He took a step forwards and loosened his grip on Higuma. "That's—"

"Oh, awesome, it's my devil fruit!" said the kid. He looked at it. “Just as gross as I remembered! Wonder where it came from…” Despite his distaste, he immediately took another bite. 

Perfect, the pirate was distracted. Higuma twisted an arm free… and immediately felt the redhead’s grip tighten like iron on his shoulder, stopping him. Without taking his eyes off the kid — who was tugging at various body parts and then letting them go with a sickening _snap,_ what the _hell_ — the redhead reset his hold on Higuma. That damn sea pirate, thought he had the right to hold a mountain bandit captive!

The kid twisted his head around five times, making a corkscrew out of his neck, and then let it go and laughed like a demon as it spun at blinding speed back into place. Higuma had never seen a devil fruit in action before. It was horrifying. The kid smiled much wider than a human mouth had any right to go and leaned back against the counter. “Much better! Now I’ve got everything ‘cept my hat and everyone!”

“Your hat, huh?” muttered the redhead. Higuma was pretty sure he was the only one who heard.

“Captain, what’s happened to him?” asked the bartender. She had an arm out, like she wasn’t sure whether to touch the kid or not. Personally, Higuma wasn’t sure why she was calling some sea pirate captain. “Is Luffy alright?”

“Just fine!” said the kid, beaming.

“Aside from _never being able to swim again,_ ” said the redhead, dangerously. The bartender blinked, and the redhead laughed. “But yeah, he’ll be fine, Makino. That was the gum-gum fruit, so he’s made of rubber now, and apparently he’s got a good handle on the power already. Frankly, we’d been planning on selling the fruit if none of the crew wanted to eat it, but apparently that problem’s been taken care of.”

“ _Shishishi,_ ” laughed the kid.

“I didn’t wanna be rubber anyways,” commented a pirate behind Higuma. “Sucks to be you, kiddo! A hammer forever, and not even a logia power to show for it.”

“Hey, be nice, he’s hardly seven!”

“He nearly stabbed his own eye out earlier, he can take it. And someone’s gotta tell him the power he picked up’s practically useless, set his expectations right. This ain’t no tremor-tremor fruit.”

The kid looked up, expression blank. “But I can still kick your ass.”

The pirates erupted in laughter.

“Hmm,” said the ponytailed one, when the bar had quieted down a bit. “If you’ve somehow come from the future like you say… how many years from now would that be?”

“Why’s it matter?” The kid tipped his empty glass of juice over his mouth, like more would magically appear if he shook it hard enough. For the first time all evening, Higuma felt a shred of sympathy, because he’d gone through that exact routine earlier this evening. But unlike him the kid deserved it.

“Just answer him,” said the bartender, snatching the glass from his hands. “You’ve given our guests quite a lot to think about, you know.”

“Eh, alright,” he said. “Uh, if they’re here…" The kid frowned, and counted off three fingers. Then he looked up and shrugged. "Dunno! A little while."

“Luffy…” she sighed, smiling.

“Long ‘nough for me to go out to sea, and then there was the two years with Rayleigh…” The redhead jumped, his grip still tight on Higuma. The kid missed it because he was frowning, thinking so hard his cheeks were turning red. Higuma didn’t realize a person could even _be_ so dense. “Makino, how old am I right now?”

“You’re seven, Luffy.”

The kid frowned harder. Finally, he shouted: “That doesn’t help!”

“ _Dahahaha,_ ” laughed the redhead. “Have mercy on the kid. _I_ believe him!”

“ _Why?_ ” said one of the pirates, the only one still eating. “Captain, I know you act like a child most of the time, but…” 

The redhead shrugged, exaggerated enough Higuma could feel it. “Seen weirder!”

“Me too!” said the kid, enthusiastically. “Roux, you should go to a sky island! Or, or, you know what was cool? There was this whole _town_ made of chocolate, where we met Pudding! She tried to kill us, but Sanji says she helped him after, so I guess she’s alright!”

 _Why_ were the pirates nodding like this proved the kid was being truthful?

“Fine, Luffy, you time travelled,” hecked one of the other pirates, “and you’ve been to a sky island and, uh...”

“Tottoland, probably,” filled in the redhead. 

“What he said. That all mean you got a crew in the future? What’s your bounty?"

The kid stuck a finger in his nose. "One and a half billion! And ‘course I got a crew, they’re the most awesome crew in the whole world!"

The pirate choked on his drink. Higuma wondered what made pirates so gullible. 

"You just said _billion,_ right?" asked yet _another_ pirate, the one with the obnoxiously long nose. "You must have gotten it confused with million, kiddo. A billion's when it has three sets of zeroes."

"Yeah, that many!" The kid nodded emphatically. "I thought it went down too, Usopp's dad! But then Brook saw the extra zeros. See, it was five hundred million before, so I got confused."

“You got confused,” said the long-nosed pirate flatly. “Oi, Captain, you’re _sure_ he’s not making all this up?”

The redhead leaned towards that one pirate still eating. “Roux, think he’s making it up?”

“I dunno, Captain,” answered the pirate. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“I _can't,_ ” complained the redhead, “he’s not _talking_ to me, Roux.”

“Then stop sulking and get Benn to ask him,” suggested the long-nosed one.

“Fiiiiiiiiine,” whined the redhead. “Hey, Benn, can—”

“I heard the first time, Captain,” said the ponytailed man. He glanced briefly at the ceiling, and then asked, “Luffy, are you telling the truth?”

“‘Course I am!” said the kid. Like any kid would admit to lying.

“ _Dahahaha,_ ” laughed the redhead, right in Higuma’s ear again. “There’s your answer, Yasopp!” He leaned some of his weight on Higuma’s shoulders, like he’d forgotten Higuma was here to humiliate him and thought they were all buddy-buddy. Sea pirates… but Higuma could use this. “Hey, Anchor, what’re your plans?”

The kid ignored the redhead, pulling his own cheeks unnaturally wide.

The other pirate, the one who had been playing interpreter, sighed. “Luffy, what are your plans?”

“Oh!” The kid grinned. “First I’m gonna go find my crew, and then I’m gonna get back to beating up Kaido and become Pirate King!” Then he paused. “Wait, no, I gotta make my brothers be my brothers first! Or else Ace will be sad. And then I find my crew!”

The ponytailed interpreter chose his words carefully. "And what if you're the only crewmember who came back in time?"

Personally, Higuma still wanted to know why they were believing all this "from the future" bullshit in the first place. Apparently pirates had overactive imaginations on top of being alcohol-stealing cowards. Who knew.

"Stupid Benn. Obviously my crew came too!"

"And what makes you think that, kid?"

The kid tilted his head like he didn't understand the issue. "Why wouldn't they? They always come find me."

The ponytailed man’s hand hit his forehead. 

“Y’know, Anchor—”

Higuma broke free. 

Ignoring the clamor that erupted, he drew his sword in one movement and took a swing at the kid sitting so carefree on his stool.

Except. The kid dodged. With just a tiny movement of the head. 

Irritatingly good reflexes, him. 

But a seven-year-old could hardly keep avoiding a sword, no matter his reaction time. Higuma just had to swing at him a couple more times and that would be the end of that. Windmill Village would fear him again, he would have proper revenge for the lack of alcohol, and he’d leave these shitty sea pirates and take his men to go raid some other hideout’s stash.

Behind him, one of the pirates gasped, and the bartender made a strangled noise. _Now_ they were getting it!

But that redhead just laughed. “Let’s see what little Anchor can do! I wonder if his punch ever became as strong as a pistol…?”

Higuma hated pirates so much. 

He swung his sword— but again, the kid dodged. And again, and again. A stool got destroyed. The counter was developing nicks. And the kid _kept dodging._

“ _Shishishi,_ ” laughed the kid, who was apparently having _fun._ Another casual dodge. Higuma hated pirates _and_ brats. “My haki still works!” He caught the sword in his bare hands ( _what the hell_ ) and looked up at Higuma with wide dark eyes. “Thanks for the spar! You can go now.”

"Huh?"

But then there was a pressure behind Higuma’s eyes, bearing down. Overwhelming. Unbearable like time was unbearable. Heavy like the sky was heavy, like a deep bellowing wind was heavy, like a cloud bearing thunder was heavy. 

And the kid was just _looking_ at him, staring imperiously, like he was a passing hurricane, like Higuma _didn’t matter._ Like the people he’d killed and the bounty he’d earned and the reputation he’d made and the years he’d lived were as insignificant as leaves in a storm, like the kid wasn’t seven, or a kid, or human at all. Like he ruled the island, or could, if he wanted to. 

Higuma shook, and he fell. 

And the last thing he heard was that redhead's gleeful laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> back to my roots with some nonsense fun time travel! the original 500-word snippet i built the rest of this fic around is a year or two old, and it's been one of my favorite little time travel snippets i've had lying around for long enough that i decided to write the rest of it.  
> i hope you enjoyed! (because i sure had fun)


End file.
